Episode 23: Motherhood, Matrescence, and the Healing Power of Art with Leanne Morton
What If the Key to Thriving in Motherhood Isn’t Doing More—But Feeling More?
In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Leanne Morton—registered art therapist, licensed professional counselor, and mother—to explore the often-unspoken emotional transformation of motherhood.
We dive into matrescence, the profound identity shift women experience when becoming mothers, especially those who are sensitive, intuitive, or high-achieving. Leanne shares how motherhood can awaken old wounds, intensify perfectionism, and challenge our sense of self—and how feeling our way through it, not fixing it, is the path to healing.
We discuss:
The power of creativity as an emotional outlet
The double-edged sword of social media
Why moms need real-life community and redefined support
How to emotionally prepare for postpartum—not just logistically
We also introduce the Pregnancy Support Circle in the Denver area, a donation-based group offering mindfulness, art tools, and true connection for expecting moms.
The episode closes with a calming, art-based meditation to help you reconnect with your inner world—reminding us all that healing often begins with simply allowing ourselves to feel.
Whether you're pregnant, postpartum, or years into motherhood, this conversation offers validation, tools, and the reminder: You are already enough.
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I wrote a book! Becoming Mommy: Aligning with yourself and finding your voice during pregnancy and motherhood, available at all major retailers . View on Amazon
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Welcome to Redefining Us, where we explore sexuality, identity, motherhood, and mental health to help women thrive authentically. Let's break free from roles that limit us and create a life where you can truly be yourself. Welcome back to Redefining Us. Thank you for tuning back in. And today I have with me Leanne Morton, who's a registered art therapist and a licensed professional counselor. So thank you so much for joining us today, Leanne.
Speaker 01
00:32
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 03
00:33
Yeah. Well, cool. Yeah, let's just jump right in and share with people what you do, why you do it, and yeah, what's kind of led you down this journey.
Speaker 01
00:45
Well, I am a mom of two. I have my own practice called Wild Sunflower Wellness. And before I started my practice, I obviously had a journey that led me here. I moved to Colorado for graduate school because I found a program that I really liked and was intrigued by at Naropa University psychology that included the mind and the body, but also the spirit. So it includes transpersonal counseling and it also had art therapy. So in a previous life, I was an educator and art was always my therapy. It was always something that I came back to throughout my life in the way that I was able to express myself. and the way that I was able to process through my own emotions, my own trauma. And so that became really important as I moved into my career. So I studied elementary education in art, thinking that I wouldn't really do anything with the art piece, mostly just because it was helping me balance what I was learning as an educator. And then I graduated during the recession and there were no teaching jobs and life took a very different turn. So I found out about art therapy and found out about Naropa and I applied. So that's what led me to Colorado. I went through my program and I started work in the field as working with women, specifically middle school aged girls and working in a school. And that was the first time that I was really aware of a lot of the issues that girls were facing and women were facing in our country. And that art was really a special way to be able to connect in with them, especially middle school girls who aren't very open to talking to a stranger about their feelings. Art was really a natural way for them to express themselves without having to do much talking. So fast forward to now and well, in the year 2021, I became a mom and I had done a lot of self work. I felt really prepared to become a mom. And of course I had my own history of trauma and anxiety, which I had worked through. And when I became a mom, I really experienced anxiety and depression with full force and in a completely different way than I had experienced it prior. And realized that even my training and even my history of self-work and really healing, that I needed more support. And that is why I'm so passionate about supporting moms now is because I realized that it wasn't just me experiencing such difficult times in the fourth trimester and that it wasn't my fault. It's really a result of all sorts of things together, including parenting. the society that we belong to that doesn't necessarily support moms in the way that they need to be supported. And once I also found community, my healing really improved. And that is also something that I'm really trying to build as a therapist is how we are able to builds community and how important that is in this season of life.
Speaker 03
05:04
Yeah. I imagine a lot of the listeners really resonate with what you're talking about, this idea of community and connecting with each other during a time that feels like, I don't know, you're a brand new person becoming a mom. You're no longer only Leanne or only Stephanie or whatever you're Your name is now you're also this other person and trying to figure out your new identity and where that fits is a big journey to undertake when you're doing that in isolation. So having a community around you is really important.
Speaker 01
05:42
Yeah, definitely. What I realize is that we don't really talk about this too much is it's a transformation process. And really, every part or every aspect of life is touched by motherhood in beautiful ways and in difficult ways. And it really ships overnight. And especially a lot of my clients that I work with are, you know, highly sensitive, intuitive, deep feelers. And When they realize that it's not just them that is having this experience, then everything changes. When we're actually having these conversations about the transformation and that there's nothing wrong with them for feeling the way that they feel. And I think that is so important, the validation piece and not feeling alone in this. One thing. Other aspect that comes in when I think about that is social media and how that has such an impact on motherhood, right? On one hand, we are talking about these issues that moms are experiencing, and it can be really validating because we have a platform now to speak out about how we're feeling and how we need more support. And on the other hand, we're really lacking the intentional community piece. A lot of us are still in isolation and we're getting the community from a distance, which is really not the same and is not how we are built as human beings. We need that relational connection with each other. And we're also just seeing these bits and pieces that people are posting. And really it's up to whoever it is that has the account, what they choose to share. Some parents are sharing about the realities of motherhood while others are only sharing the good parts. And I think that can be really damaging sometimes. I
Speaker 03
08:11
also, you know, As I'm listening to you share, thinking back to something that you said about how you have been to therapy and you felt like prepared and entering into motherhood after processing, you know, traumas or anxiety and depression you had in the past and how entering into motherhood, it felt different. And yeah, I've shared on here too that I, even as a therapist, was like, I got this. Like, it's going to be fine. Been to therapy since I was 20 and I had my daughter at 35. So 15 years I'm going to therapy pretty consistently. And yeah, I don't think you can really prepare yourself for the hormonal shifts in the experience of becoming a mother. Even if you are, maybe you have a few connections to other people who are mothers. But I know I found myself looking at social media all of the time like, oh, this mom's doing this thing. And oh, this mom's doing this thing. Even though in my brain, I logically knew that this is people's highlight reel or this is, you know, just what people want me to see. I still found myself fixating on these ideas that people were sharing on social media because I didn't get a two-way conversation with them that I might from somebody else. that I could have a relationship with in person to get the, you know, oh yeah, having a child is beautiful and they also don't sleep. And there's only so many tricks that you can do to get your child to sleep enough hours for you to feel well-rested or, oh yeah, like teaching your kid to roll over is, you know, not that hard. Just do X, Y, and Z. But then you're sitting there thinking like, oh, am I doing something wrong that I'm not teaching them how to roll over at the exact developmental milestone age that they're supposed to? And that's why I think, you know, social media can be helpful as a tool, but it can't be a standalone resource that people look to when they are going through this brand new experience.
Speaker 01
10:33
Yeah, I agree 100%. there's something that happens in relationship that is just not as authentic when we're trying to do that online. It's also reminding me of the word matrescence, which, if you haven't heard that word before, sounds really similar to the word adolescence. And research is really showing how similar development is can be in these two phases of life. One thing I'm thinking about is this is a time, matrescence is a time, when a mother's brain is plastic, essentially is able to rewire and absorb new information. It's actually physically changing. And it's very similar to adolescence. how we're trying to understand who we are in the world and trying things on. And really this theme of identity is huge during this time. And that's something I'm curious about is if we are having these inauthentic or not necessarily real relationships online, then how are we relating to our own identity? motherhood and you know it's such a precious time to create new neural pathways in our brain what if we could actually be in community what if we could find authentic community where we feel nurtured and held and i can't remember which author probably a lot of them have said that it takes a village to raise a child but it also takes a village to raise a mother and many of us don't have that village anymore and we really need to take some time to be intentional about creating that for ourselves it's so necessary and so needed i think there are so many different aspects to what has led to us not having a village anymore, including many of us are not living in intergenerational households or are in this modern age have moved away from our families of origin and are trying to build new families in our new locations. There's also this presence wave of feminism that has come through around women being able to do it all. And although we can, it doesn't mean necessarily that we should be doing it all because we were never meant to do it all. If we think back to how we used to be raising families, in a village, we didn't have to do it all because everyone had their own skill set and their own ways of taking care of each other. It didn't all fall on one person. And so, of course, the mental load and child rearing right now feels impossible.
Speaker 03
13:58
Yeah, I don't know any articles specifically that relate to this, but I oftentimes think that there's this overcorrection that women have made to prove their value or prove they deserve a seat at the table in response to wanting, you know, equality in every arena of life. And that has led mothers and women to be isolated because they're not surrounding themselves with other people potentially because they It's desirable to have this ultra independence. And so trying to figure out how to have your identity of still being a strong woman or a strong person and being vulnerable enough and open enough to know that you need to ask for help. There are other people that can support you. There's other people that want to support you and lift you up. Just letting them do that.
Speaker 01
14:54
One thing I've noticed too with myself and with clients that I work with is sometimes we don't even know what we need. And that can be so challenging, especially in the early days of parenting, because it's so demanding. And the energy it takes to think about what we need outside of caring for a tiny human can feel like such a tall ask. I remember with my husband, even with a very supportive partner, him asking me, what do you need? And even giving me time and space to have alone time. And even that was challenging and felt disorienting to be away from my baby. And so there's all these different pieces that come into play. But when we and if we can be prepared for that or have a team set up before we enter into parenthood, whether it is a postpartum group or it is a perinatal mental health therapist or it is a pelvic floor therapist, and your OB team or your midwife, lots of times what I've learned is the perinatal field, providers who take care of mamas are very connected in. We know a lot of other providers who can help and who can support. So there's so much support available, but taking the time to build that in beforehand, I think is so important to having not necessarily a stress-free postpartum period, but a more nourished one and a more easeful one, one where you are feeling more supported. And
Speaker 03
16:50
I just want to speak to, because I was this person looking at like, oh, I could get a doula. And then I was like, actually, I'll be fine. It's going to go great. Like, I know, you know, I'm just going to be optimistic. This whole experience is going to go so smoothly. I'm not going to need any additional support and thinking to myself, I got this. And I want people to feel confident and feel like they can do motherhood and that they can tackle hard things. And there's nothing that should stop you from, I think, connecting with other people that are in the community, like you said, because they are all connected to some degree, right? Your lactation consultant probably knows a doula. Your doula probably knows a midwife. Your midwife probably knows a therapist and et cetera, et cetera. So really having a team, I think, is valuable. And I don't want to stress people out by saying that, but also trying to be mindful that being prepared is helpful. And that the classes that you might go to at the hospital are helpful, but maybe not all the prep that you need to be doing.
Speaker 01
18:01
Yeah, absolutely. It is so hard to know what you're going to need postpartum. And even if there are resources that you can reach for, like books or a list of providers, so you don't have to be doing research while you're sleep deprived and trying to feed and care for yourself and a new human, I think could be wonderful. I
Speaker 03
18:31
definitely want to just go back to the community aspect because I think you said it already, Leanne. You don't know what you don't know. And being a pregnant mom or being a postpartum mom, especially your first time through, or maybe your second time is very different than your first and you need more support the second or third time around or what have you. But each experience is different. And each person that you're connected to can give you different feedback and support. And yeah, I think I found myself relying too much on quote unquote Dr. Google and feeling mad that Dr. Google couldn't actually take all the nuances of what I was going through into account when it was just spitting back an answer at me. So yeah, having a space to share your whole story or at least part of the story that that person needs to hear in order to give you a nuanced response is really helpful.
Speaker 01
19:32
Yeah, that's such a good point. especially now that moms now are being brought up in this age of AI and where you can ask chat GPT any question you want and it will give you some response. And again, you know, this goes back to human interaction and relation. I mean, it is amazing all of the stuff that artificial intelligence can do and how we have all of that at our fingertips. And nothing is going to replace human interaction and being real with other moms like we just need each other and we need to know that we're not alone on this journey and I just started a play group in my community with some other moms and I have friends all over the Denver metro area and Right. But there's something about having people I know in close proximity and being able to parent together and just being in the chaos together and being in relationship together. Like that is something that AI or Google can never can never do. Yeah. Yeah. You're just, yeah, you're able to find joy together. You're able to laugh about it together. You're able to talk about how it was a really rough morning, how your kids are having insane emotional outbursts and how it's so difficult to use your own regulation tool. And all the other moms can be like, yeah, me too. And you can see their faces. Yeah. AI is not doing right. And it's so powerful. It's just it's so powerful and it's so healing to have that. human relationship.
Speaker 03
21:36
I think another nuances conversation that I want to add is this idea of asking people who are one, in close proximity to you, but also in similar stages as you are. My best friend has children, but her child was already two and a half by the time that my child was born. And so with best intention, she'd be like, I can't remember what I did when they were three months old. My mind has put that so far out of touch from where I'm at right now. And so I think having people who are at a very similar stage as you are in your community is really helpful because I had other moms that I knew that their baby was like two months or like a month ahead of mine. I'm like, oh, so they're gonna know what happened like a month ago. And they sure did, like way better than my friend, their kid two and a half years before mine. And so- Really finding people that are at a similar stage is so, so valuable. Even my mom would be like, Mom, what did you do? I don't know. That was 30-something-odd years ago. Again, I was asking for support from people, and people wanted to be supportive, but I don't think they had the context or the memory from what they experienced. So finding people who are at a really know as close as possible to what you're currently going through i think is really helpful especially in those really early months slash years of postpartum
Speaker 01
23:07
yeah definitely i agree because you can talk about milestones you can talk about feeding you can talk about the sleep deprivation you can you know and Like you're saying, the more far removed you are, the more difficult it is to remember. Especially, I know myself included with the sleep deprivation, there are just things that you just don't remember. It can feel like survival mode for a while. And having that close relationship is really important.
Unknown
Yeah.
Speaker 01
23:44
I think too, for the moms who are listening who might be further out in motherhood, also having some intergenerational relationships with other moms can also be really helpful too. because they hold wisdom, they hold guidance. And it can almost be helpful to see that, okay, here are some other moms who've been through it. They've been where I've been and they've gotten through it. They did it. And I found that was helpful for me too. Once I got out of, you know, the first year postpartum, when the postpartum fog lifted a little bit, it actually helped me hold hope of, okay, this isn't going to last forever. This is just a stage. Everything is temporary, which... When I was in the postpartum period and people were, which I'm, you know, once postpartum, always postpartum. That is my belief, right? But in that first year postpartum, when I was being told, this is only temporary, it's not going to last, that wasn't helpful for me to hear. And I know, especially if you're experiencing postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, it just... It can feel like your feelings and your experience is being invalidated. But also, you know, as you move out of postpartum, that really early stage, it can be helpful to be like, oh, I should say that I have two toddlers right now, two and a half and four. And I fall back on that a lot. Like, oh, yeah, this is only a stage. This is temporary. These big emotions are so real for them. And I can really look to the older generations to be like, they've been through it. They've been there. I can ask them about their own wisdom of how they got through these really difficult stages. And that has been helpful for me too.
Speaker 03
26:06
I also want to add one final thing maybe before we move on. This idea that like your kids are always changing, right? So like at each phase, you're getting to learn a new version of your child. But in that change, you're also gene honoring that maybe something that you thought was a great idea when they were two is no longer a great idea at two and a half. Or like, you know, you can change as a mother. And that's OK. And allow yourself to evolve as things evolve within you as you learn new things. I think I've heard, unfortunately, some women be like, oh, man, I wish I wouldn't have done that when they were five. And now they're seven. Well, you only knew what you knew when they were five. And now, you know, something different at seven, like do that new thing that you think is good now that they're seven. There's always something new that's coming out, whether it's research or anecdotal information. So allow there to be grace in your transformation as well as a mom.
Speaker 01
27:10
Yeah, I tend to work with a lot of high achieving, high performing individuals and that can often be a really difficult aspect of motherhood is that things are always changing and always evolving and we can't really be an expert in motherhood, right? Because things are constantly changing and we are constantly changing and our kids are constantly changing. We're learning with them and when we can hold that awareness when we can have that awareness and surrender into that peace it can often allow more presence and more joy in and just let ourselves off the hook a little bit because we can put so much pressure on ourselves to be the perfect mom or the good
Speaker 00
mom
Speaker 01
28:04
and You know, these myths of motherhood that come up that often follow us from life before kids, right? Like trying to be the perfect partner or trying to be the perfect woman or the good daughter. And a lot of times that comes with achievements and that can often be tied into our own self-worth. And so when we don't have as much control once we become a parent, because everything shifts, including our schedules and how we take care of ourselves and all the ways that we used to know ourselves and do things a certain way, that all changes. And that can be really disorienting for parents. a lot of women, especially if they identify as high achieving or have had some perfectionistic qualities. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong, again, but it can just be, you know, a lot of these things that come up in motherhood can be ways that we actually can feel empowered by working with them and coming out on the other side feeling like a more real, authentic, truer version of ourselves when we're not trying to perform for others. our dad or a society who says that we should be a certain way or do things a certain way. Yeah,
Speaker 03
29:42
there's no right way to do motherhood, I think is a good takeaway. Absolutely. Yeah, so I'd like to take this, you know, time to transition to maybe going through an exercise that you might lead a mom or a group of moms through as an art therapist.
Speaker 01
30:01
Yeah, so I know on the podcast, you might not be at home, you might be driving in the car, you might be on a walk. So if it feels too difficult to do this meditation with your eyes closed, please just keep your eyes open and sort of use your mind's eye and hold your attention in your body. And if you are at home, if you want to close your eyes, if you are in a comfortable position, I'm just going to lead you into a little bit of a guided meditation and then we're going to do a short art activity. So maybe you can take this opportunity also to pause the podcast or pause. grab a piece of paper and any art materials you have on hand. Maybe your kids have some crayons laying around or some markers that anything will do. So if it does feel safe, you can close your eyes if that feels comfortable and just take a moment to notice your breath as it is. You don't need to change anything. Just become aware of the inhale And the exhale. Now slowly bring one hand to your heart and just feel the warmth of your own touch as your hand is on your heart and the steady rhythm of your heartbeat that's been with you all along. This is your anchor and your center. With your hand here, begin to deepen your breath. Inhale gently through your nose. And feel the breath move into your chest beneath your hand. And then slowly exhale through your mouth. Inhale into your heart space. And exhale, softening your shoulders, your jaw, your belly. You can even allow each breath to be an offering of kindness. Inhale on here. Exhale on the neck. Breathe in love. Breathe out guilt. Breathe in gentleness. Breathe out expectations. You don't have to hold it all right now. Let this be a moment to hold you. We'll take one final deep breath. And as you exhale, you can hold the intention to keep this softness with you throughout your day. So if you do have your art materials, you can come to your paper now. If you don't have your art materials, you can just imagine this, what would, come to your mind. So draw a heart the size of your paper. And the invitation is to create a visual expression of what your heart feels or needs in this moment. There's no right or wrong way to do this. You can just add color, movement, emotion, and just be curious about what your heart might express if it had space on the page to do that. What does your heart want you to know, remember, or feel right now? And some other prompts to think about is the message I have for you is, so if you think about your heart being able to have a voice, what would that message be? Or even just choosing one word for this experience, how you're feeling right now. And just take a moment to really observe what you drew. Sometimes I tell people to hold their image away from them. They get a different perspective. Just notice how you're feeling right now compared to how you felt before we started this. So this is a very simplified example of what therapeutic art making is like and what art therapy is like. If you have never heard of art therapy or you have heard a couple of things there are you know some ideas out there about what art therapy is and what it isn't and my mission is to really express and get people The message across the art therapy can be for everyone, even moms. And I think it's especially beautiful for moms because we have the power to create life and the ability to create life. And lots of times, somewhere along the way, we forget that we're creative. Just because we are a human being, we are born into this world innately creative. If you look at any kid who picks up a crayon, they are thrilled to be making something. And they don't care what it looks like. They are very proud most of the time, right? They can't wait to show you what they made. And so that little part of us lives inside of all of us still. And the beautiful thing about art therapy and bringing that to moms is it's a way to remember, especially during this pandemic. postpartum time when things can feel really overwhelming. We might not know who we are anymore or how to even connect in with the things that we love and enjoy. This can be a really beautiful way to find our way back. And something as simple as this, drawing a heart on the page and using colors and lines and shapes to express what you're feeling and really be a way of allowing yourself to be present and to tune in and to make choices for yourself. Even if it is just choosing a color, choosing a line or choosing a shape, it can really be that simple. It's not necessarily about what the art looks like, which is what a lot of us have come to believe about art, right? Like it's just for a certain person or your art has to be hanging in a museum in order for you to call yourself an artist. And that's just not true. My belief is that we are all creative, a way of, a means of finding our way back.
Speaker 03
38:18
Well, thank you so much, Leanne, for sharing that. Hopefully everyone felt like the exercise was was helpful. I participated and came up with a few things that make me think like, hmm, needed to tap back into my heart a little bit more often. So thank you for sharing that. Yeah, you're welcome. So I want to maybe transition to the next thought of our pregnancy support circle that we are offering to the community of Denver metro area. It's going to be starting on June 9th. It's donation based and We will have the event link in the show notes on the website and you could go to Eventbrite and find it or on my website and our newsletters, Leanne's newsletter website as well, I'm assuming. So people hopefully can connect with us there. Do you want to share anything more about the group?
Speaker 01
39:17
Yeah, I mean, our whole goal, Stephanie and I have talked about how important it is for us to create spaces like we've shared on the podcast today. that make it accessible and easy for moms to meet and feel supported and nurtured through this journey so that they don't end up feeling isolated and so that they are able to create friendships that last into the postpartum period and feel like they have the tools to really allow themselves to thrive in motherhood and that's you know the goal of this And we really hope that we are just there as guides and that the moms who attend are really able to tap into what they are needing from the group. And we will offer some mindfulness. We will offer on my end some expressive arts, like some simple tools that you can put in your toolbox to pull out at any time if you need some regulation. And to really be able to have a safe space to talk about what's coming up in pregnancy and that you don't have to just bear through it. Like there are some challenging aspects and we get that and know it. And this can also be a space to share about these things and practice being vulnerable because we all have really need spaces like that where we're able to show up and share how we're really feeling yes
Speaker 03
41:06
yeah and being able to explore your values and your emotions and just like how you're interconnected to your family and the relationships there and how everything may feel like it's upside down but hopefully with guidance and support you'll be able to like Leanne said thrive in motherhood. And a part of that puzzle could be attending our pregnancy support circle. So I hope you check it out. And just to have Leanne share where you all can reach her. I'm sure people listening know how to reach me already. So Leanne, how can people find you if they want to connect to work with you individually even?
Speaker 01
41:43
Wow. Again, my practice is called Wild Sunflower Wellness. So you can reach me at wildsunflowerwellness.com. And... I can also be reached at my email, which is leanne at wildsunflowerwellness.com. And I'm also on all the socials, Instagram and Facebook as well. All right. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you so much for having me. This was such an inspiring conversation.
Speaker 03
42:16
Thank you for tuning in to Redefining Us once again and share with other people so other people can continue to listen to Redefining Us and we can get into more listeners ears. If you follow us or subscribe or leave a comment or review, that'd be greatly helpful for other people to find us and also just for me to get some feedback. What do you guys want to hear me say? What do you women care about hearing? I'm totally open to Thank you so much for joining us today. So you can be in the know with all the things that are happening in the Redefining Us community. Once again, thank you so much for listening and keep being awesome.