Episode 29: From Unexpected Pregnancy to 7-Figure Entrepreneur: Christy Pennison’s Story
Life will sometimes throw us unexpected curveballs and it changes everything thereafter. For Christy Pennison, becoming a mother at 22 while still in college forced her to rewrite her story, and it became the catalyst for building a life far greater than she had imagined.
Christy shares her journey from an unexpected pregnancy to becoming a board-certified counselor, 7-figure entrepreneur, and nationally recognized leader in mental health. She opens up about how those early years, working two jobs, relying on mentors, and living with very little, taught her resilience, acceptance, and the power of redefining what success looks like in each season of life.
Christy and Stephanie explore what it means to parent through different stages, how capacity shifts as children grow, and why comparison robs us of peace. They talk about the importance of finding a village, the reality of childcare struggles, and the balancing act of building a business while raising a family.
More than anything, Christy reminds us that parenting and life are journeys of constant redefining. She reminds us of the need for grace, both for ourselves and our children, and the value of aligning our choices with the season we’re in. Whether you’re a parent, a business owner, or simply navigating big life changes, her story offers encouragement that you can build a life you love.
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Welcome to Redefining Us, where we explore sexuality, identity, motherhood, and mental health to help women thrive authentically. Let's break free from roles that limit us and create a life where you can truly be yourself. Welcome back to Redefying Us. Today we have on with us Christy Pennison, who is a licensed therapist. She also runs her own podcast called Inspiring Possible. There's also a downloadable called Dream It, Write It, Do It, which is a workbook that she has created to help you recreate what's possible for you. I'm really excited for you to listen to this podcast today. She really speaks about her motherhood journey and how she became unexpectedly a mom at 22 and really her whole journey about rewriting what her dreams and her goals were at that very pivotal time. So can't wait for you to listen. Really, a great interview today with Christy. Welcome back to Redefining Us. I'm your host, Stephanie Contrajera, and I have with me today Christy Pennison. So excited to have you on, Christy. Yeah, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me. Yeah. So in general spirit of the podcast, uh, different phases where we redefine ourselves and our like life's trajectory and who who we are. So yeah, let's start off by talking about a moment that you felt like was pivotal for you and redefining who you were.
You know, there's actually really two moments that come to mind, I think. And I don't know why these moments, there's probably a lot more multiple moments. If you really start to take from the the most one that stopped that, you know, comes to mind and then break it down from there. But I think one of the biggest moments, and especially since, you know, sometimes we I know you talk about motherhood on here, was me finding out that I was gonna have a baby. And I was in a very unique position. I was in college, and you know, my life plan was to not be 22 and unexpectedly pregnant and also become like a solo parent. Okay. So this was not in my plan of my 22, you know, year old self of saying, like, this is what I envision for my life, being responsible for a human. And I can actually, you know, just vividly remember there was a few key things that had just started to go on in my life. Like I'd have just applied for this scholarship with like the Rotary Club, where I could have gotten like this graduate degree in overseas, and I was gonna like maybe apply to this like general master's degree, save the world type degree program in Ireland, and I was gonna be living my best life. And I had a really good chance of getting it because I had applied before a few years later, but they said, look, you're a little young, you have a lot of experience because I did some like international mission work where you've been in these other places. So we know that you had this give back spirit, which is whether things say look for in applicants. So we know this could be a great fit for you, but we just want you to reapply when you get a little bit older and really have a clear direction of where you want your life to go. So I was like, ooh, I think I figured it out. I think I figured it out, you know, because it takes us a minute to figure out things in life. And I still didn't have anything figured out, but that's what I thought, right? Like I figured out where I think I want to go. I want to go be overseas. I was gonna be one of those people that worked for maybe like an NGO and go into the places where people were like, you know, really needing help and they were needing to get transferred. I mean, I in a different country other than here. So that was my original idea of my mind. And, you know, I remember vividly the day that I was like, I went to Chili's with a friend of mine the night before, and we were drinking margaritas. Okay, again, guys, I was 22. Was not expecting to be pregnant. And we're just I knew that there was something that was off. I knew that I was a little bit like late. And I was like, I wonder, I wonder, this has really bothered me. I wonder if I am how and my friend was like, how crazy would that be? And I'm like, still drinking my marine, how crazy, right? And I remember I went to the Dollar General because of course I was a college student living off a shoestring budget, and I got me one of them dollar pregnancy tests, and I took it home and really said a bunch of hopes and prayers, and then you know, the plus sign came on there. Okay. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is real. Like, I'm pregnant, and I had certain, you know, ingrained belief systems about like if I'm pregnant that this is what's gonna happen. That was just my way and my experience. And so I'm like, I'm I'm gonna be like a parent, you know, and I was honestly depressed for about a week, literally. And I tell this story, and I try to tell my daughter, like, it's just because I had to wrap my head around the fact that I was gonna be responsible for a human being and that my life was not gonna go in the trajectory that I thought it was. So I had to call the guy that had submitted my application for that, you know, um grant and um scholarship for that that program and say, look, I have to rescind my application. He's like, Well, why? And I'm like, Oh, how do I tell this story? And I also just had to start redefining in a lot of ways that this was gonna be my reality. And it only took about a week, and then I was like, okay, we're just gonna, this is life. I'm gonna have this baby and we're gonna do the best we can with what we know. And so I joined the the nurse partnerships programs because I again I was I consider myself somewhat smart, but I was still real dumb back then. Okay. And so I needed help about how to keep a human alive. And I think me and you've talked about this. Like, nobody sends you home with a manual. Yeah, you know, you can be really educated and still not know what to do with a child, okay? And so I remember I got enrolled in like these programs that would teach me how to get prepared. I actually was working like two jobs and going to school. And so I was really trying to prepare myself for this new future. But along the way, what I realized, especially after she got here, which anybody that has had a child before, you realize that you're like, oh my God, I can imagine my life ever without you, you know. And you also have so much love for something that essentially came from you. And I just remember thinking, oh my gosh, I I have so much love. What I'm gonna do is try to figure out what it is that I'm passionate about and go in the direction of that dream because hopefully that will give her permission to do the same. Because I want her to be able to be in a world where she realizes that if she has an idea or a vision of what she would like to create for her life, I wanted that to be possible. But when you asked me what's the major one, I really think that was a pivotal point in my life. And if I look back in hindsight, it was one of the biggest blessings of my life and really pushed me in a way way past my comfort zone. Because okay, 22, got to get responsible. Can't just be going out doing whatever you want. And then it also pushed me towards goals that I may not have set had I not had that level of responsibility in the way that I'd had it. Because I also knew like this child's life, it because the other parent didn't chose not to be a part of her life, um, then it depended on me. So if we're gonna have a good life, it's gonna depend on me. Sure, in the early days, I was like, maybe there'll be somebody come along and we'll have that happen. We'll uh spoiler alert for listeners, I'm now almost 40 years old, and you know, that really ain't happened yet. So, you know, 20 do the math. So I really it really pushed me to strive for more, I think, in a lot of ways than I wouldn't have maybe had strived in that way prior to.
Yeah, it almost seems like you became laser focused on providing your daughter a good life rather than just like what are my personal aspirations. Yeah.
Yeah. And and you know, and that then that sometimes helps you reshape just not just about me, now it's about somebody else. And I've got to re-redefine what that looks like for not just me, but for whoever else. And that's for anybody in their life, you know, whoever's whoever's along for your party and is a part of your tribe, you know. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm kind of curious, like, what things did you find helped you figure it out along the way? Like, were there any people or things that you read, or just like moments that you had that felt like epiphanies or something that helped you navigate that time?
Well, as you as you well know, Stephanie, this is a journey. So nothing happened, you know, overnight. Um, but I would definitely say multiple points along the way, there were other people that influenced my journey. Whether it was influence and they didn't even know, like just giving me an example of what life could have been. There could have been, I know for me, especially my younger days, my spiritual mentors were big guides for me. And I think that really supported me a lot. And then, of course, I had influences, I would say positively for family. Not everybody is so fortunate, but my family was super supportive. Maybe not necessarily in in all the ways, but they were supportive in a like a mental. Like you, if you put your mind to this, we believe that you can do that. And I think that was a big, big supporter of me. And they did support me also in the early days because I was a broke college student. And I'm like, mama, I need a place to live with this child. I don't depend you, depend on you to buy diapers. You know, I remember at the time I like worked uh as like a case manager for a homeless coalition. And then I also worked for a, oh, what else do I do? I waited tables. I waited tables and then I was going to school. So I mean, I was like, at some point they told me, ma'am, you're too big. You can no longer weigh tables because we're afraid you're going to trip in the back alley. And so I was like, okay, well, then I guess this is my time to like take my maternity leave. And I put this in quotation because, you know, maternity leave was like, you know, hope you saved up some money to do um take care of this child. So those were just a few things. But I think mentors, and then I think also just exposure to different opportunities. So, you know, I started out in a job. My first I say job after high or high school college was as a child forensic interviewer. And that was a really tough job, but it was a rewarding in some ways. But it pushed me to the next thing, which was okay, maybe I want to help these kids individually one-on-one. And so then I did the individual, I got into master's program for counseling. And then that pushed me to the next thing, you know. So each along the path, I think there were mentors in my life or people that help guide and show different opportunities for possibilities to really kind of lead me to where I'm at today, which is way different than I would have thought of when I was 22, you know? Yeah.
Yeah, I imagine. I mean, every not everyone, but most people at 22 are like, all right, there's like all of these options, like which way do I take? And then when you have a kid for anyone who's had a kid, it's like, okay, maybe there's still options, but they're a little bit different now that I have this small child to take care of and your schedule and your free time and your mental space and all those things become more narrow. So like having people around you to hopefully guide and support you can make a huge difference on whether or not you're able to move forward or kind of get stuck in this, like, oh my god place.
Oh my gosh, totally. And listen, let me tell you something. I tell about this all the time because people sometimes are like, when I really think back on some of the ways that I actually like made it and survived in life, you know, it was because there were key people that just ended up falling in my life at the right time. Like, whether it was my mom who did allow me to stay, me and my daughter to stay with her and my stepdad for at least because I was living there anyways while I was at college. They let me stay in my like little, it's like a one and a half story. And so on the top story was like a little half two rooms was me and my daughter's room. So I was able to stay there until she was 10 months old and I was able to afford buying a mobile home and then moving across the woods from them, Stephanie. I mean, really, I didn't go far. And while I I got my job and learned how to to, you know, again live within my means, take care of my child and myself. And then it was people like I needed to go back to work at when I when she was four months old. I needed to start working, you know. And I remember I was getting that first full-time job. And there just happened to be this lady who would keep kids out of her home. Her name was Danny Fran. And I I still think about it today, but she only charged $75 a week. Okay. Now, Stephanie, I know Stephanie's like, what? And but you know, I remember that, like, ah, there is no way I could have afforded any more than that at that point. Because I can even remember when she took a little bit of time off because she had to go take care of herself because she was older and she had appointments. That I was like, oh, can we like, are we gonna get a progeted? Because that was how I had to stretch those pennies, right? Now, now in hindsight, I'm like, number one, I knew she was a blessing at a time, but now that I'm older, I'm like, what a blessing that was that helped me get to the next stage of my journey, you know, and she pretty much raised my baby till four from four months old till she was going into preschool. And I just think about things like that and think about the impact that that really made on my life to help me get a little bit further down the road until I did have more opportunities or I could take different, make different choices.
Yeah. I I know obviously child care expenses have changed a lot in the last like 18 years or whatever. But I mean, that was like probably the cheapest on the block. Okay. Yeah, I mean, it's great that there's people like that that you know can provide services like that for people because yeah, I think the whole childcare system like is just insane, anyways. Like, if you expect us to work, we also need affordable care.
Well, and let's be honest, you know, I mean, it it it is crazy. And I live in Louisiana, so the where I live at is even more small town and the cost of living is a little bit more less, but yeah, it is crazy to think about how that can really be a choice, like where people have to make like, do I do I go back to work or you know, this is how much it costs? Like, can I do that? And you know, yeah.
I've heard from some people this is kind of getting off topic, but like that childcare is like the second most expensive thing that they have to pay for, like outside of like their own home. It's like child care. And then sometimes even like cars come after childcare for some people, which is crazy that like I don't know, I think cars are expensive. So, like the idea that childcare it could be more expensive than a car is mind-blowing.
I mean, I believe it. I believe it. You know, I was talking to a friend the other day, and again, how do we got off on hand? But she was like, Listen, I'm just excited that my child is going now into school. The last one is, and we're about to transition, even though it'll be a little bit transitioning, because she's like having both of them at one point in child care and they oh, excuse me, and then getting to the point where we're like, now we just have one and now we might not even have that. I mean, the financial, the financial realities of owning, uh owning, of having a child, not owning a child, of having children. Thinking about that car, owning a car. You know, having a child is it's it's a real thing. And I think, you know, sometimes I look at people and I'm like, how? How do they do it? Because there can be such expenses, and then you have to figure out in your life where you're at, what does that look like for you in that season? And I think that is one thing. I don't know if you've learned this, Stephanie or are learning. I'm still learning, is that, you know, along the journey, you have different seasons. And so there's stuff that I could do now that I wasn't able to do in the different seasons when my daughter was at different ages. Or, you know, now that I'm a little bit older, right? I look at some of the stuff that's coming up as she gets closer to adult age, which she reminds me, she's turning 18 next year. I know it's crazy. I'm like, I'm not that old. Okay. But, anyways, you know, there's just things that you think about that you're like, wow, okay. So I think your capacity is different at different season, also based off of the support that you have, right? Like if you are in a high support situation, whether it be financially, emotionally, the support of just doing some of the things that, you know, raising a child requires, like getting them ready and getting them food and getting them all these things, you know, you know, taking care of them, I think sometimes you might have more capacity. But that support factor, I think, is different for different people and at different stages of life. And some people don't know how to support you at different, the different phases. Like I had a family member who was like, if the child gets older, I will help out. Other than that, I don't know what to do with the baby. So please do not pass the baby this way, you know. But when they got older, they were able to be more supportive. So I think it depends on where your village is. If you have a village at what capacity that can help, do you have friends that you can like vent about stuff with parenting? Even before we push the record button, I was venting about, you know, part of my current struggle with parenting a teenager is multi, you know, it's multi-layered. And and that's another thing too. The seasons of the child changes and the challenges you're dealing with the child changes, right? So what's your thoughts about all this?
Yeah, I guess I was just thinking, going back to the seasons of like redefining what your life looks like as well as like your parenting. Like right now, my main mission every day with Ella is like make sure she doesn't kill herself. Like, let's, you know, babyproof this house so she doesn't grab a knife or she doesn't do something wild. Um, but I imagine at like 17, there's other things that you're concerned about on a day-to-day basis, except besides the knife drawer. And I think that allows for a different space in your own brain, in your own life mission. Yeah, I don't know. I as a viewer of your life, Christy, I'm like, oh man, she's going on all these cool trips. Like, that's awesome. Maybe one day I can do that too. And then I'm like, oh yes, but like she has a teenager and like I have a toddler. It's like very different life stages. And very different.
And it and it is crazy. And I think you're bringing up a good point because I think this is something that we all have to, it's so hard to remember this when we're in such a um like social media age, you know. I can even think about when my daughter was growing up. I mean, I was still on social media, but it was it was very different, you know, like it's it's crazy to think. I mean, I always did try to take her, but like she would probably if I was going on a trip, it'd probably be her coming. Now I can actually leave her. Now, whether that's a good choice because she, her monitoring is really important right now. You know, but I do have support systems in place where it's like, okay, you go stay over at grandma's house. Well, if she's going to grandma's house, she's sleeping half the day, right? And she can get up and feed herself and choose whether she wants to eat or not. And she may or may not take a bath. And Caitlin, if you're listening to this, I'm really sorry. But this is the reality of how teenage life really goes, right? Like she does take good care of her hygiene, but she can she chooses, she doesn't have to wait, like, she's not waiting on me to provide for her. And even now, she's old enough to where she's now driving that, like, if she really wants food and I can't provide it for her in that moment. Sometimes I can give her permission to go grab something, you know? So there is that less um dependence on me for things, which then allows that freedom, a little bit more freedom that I have. And I'll never forget this is a great, this is a great conversation that we moved into here. So I had a friend who I remember when I lived in a different city. So this is like Caitlin would have been about maybe six, seven, eight, nine, somewhere in that range, right? So, like elementary school. And um, we became friends and she had teenagers. And I remember sometimes she would go on because we were both single moms, okay. So we was all about that trying to find that date in life. It was a whole nother thing. That's a whole nother segment, dating with kids and all the kind of things. And I would get so a little bit like frustrated, to be honest, or a little bit annoyed, because she would go on dates and she would stay out pretty late and eventually get home. And I'd be always be like, Do you do you not need to be at home? So that you're you know, we know you still have kids, like you know, this is in the back of my mind, right? But now that I have a daughter that's a teenager, I can kind of see, yeah. I mean, if she doesn't want to be by me half the time anyway. So if I go somewhere, as long as I'm know that she's safe, as long as I can kind of check in on her, because there's all things like call wife 360 and all this kind of stuff. I can make sure she's where she needs to be. She has access to call me if she needs because she has a cell phone, then I can sometimes go and do things. And it was so, it's so weird to think back on how I even thought about her, you know, being able to do stuff and kind of like, oh, I have to like organize a babysitter. The babysitter has to be here at a certain time. I have to make sure I get home at a certain time to relieve the babysitter. You know, oh, is it a school night or not a school night? I'm gonna have to wake up in the morning and get her to school. When I was really, there was one guy that I dated pretty seriously when we lived in this other city. And I can remember I was even so conscious about like, okay, if this person is staying, they need to leave out in the morning and then come bring some donuts and act like they're coming. You know what I mean? So, like it was a whole thing. But there's so many things that, you know, in those different stages and phases that, you know, you have a more level of I don't want to say responsibility because I think the level of responsibility is the same, but it's like different types of responsibilities to this tiny human that you're trying to get to adulthood.
And I think they switch so quickly. Like even now, you know, my baby's almost two. Like, I think to myself, I was thinking about it this morning when I was getting her ready for school. I was like, I can go into the other room and like get dressed. Will she follow me? Yes, but like I could walk away from her. Like six months ago, a year ago, she would lose her freaking mind if I walked out of her sight. Now she's just like, Oh, I'm not whatever, ma'am. I'll stay here. And like I dropped her off at school today, didn't even care, just like went to go play with her friend. She's like, Okay, bye. Like, I'm like, all right, okay, bye. She doesn't need me as much anymore. And so I think it can happen even like so quickly, the turnover. And so, yeah, going back to the the redefining piece, like you'd redefine what your relationship with them is, and then you redefine what your relationship with your own time and space and like mental energy, and then that extends to like even your relationship with other people. I now have more time, like I went and had drinks with some friends on Saturday night, and like the days are confusing me. And like one of those days I went for drink somewhere. But like maybe six months ago, I would have been like, I don't know if I can go. Like, is she gonna be okay being put to bed by my husband? And I again to fully trust my husband, he could totally do it. Or like for you, maybe like your mom could put your kid to bed, right? Whatever. Like, yeah, I don't know. It's just like a different I would be like sad to like miss bedtime before. Not to say that I'm not sad now, but like now I'm like, there's just one bedtime, like there's a thousand more bedtimes. Yeah, yeah.
I know it's so crazy, and it does switch so fast. Like you said, not only your capacity or your relationship with what you're what with your child, and then and then also what you how you interacting with other world. And I would just say that it really is okay. So, like if you are in a place where your baby is younger and you're like, I want to protect this time totally. Do you do whatever works for you, and also if you can't do that, also give yourself some grace as well. Because, you know, I always think about it this way, Stephanie. I don't know about you, but I have thought about people have been having kids for like a long, long time. Like we got billions of people in the world, guess what? Trillions, I think, something like that. And they all came from somebody. And I mean, kids have been raised in so many different cultures, environments with things, without things. I mean, I'll never forget that one of my most pivotal moments that just helped open my worldview is I did this mission trip when I was like a teenager to Brazil. And I mean, these kids were living in severe poverty, but they were living in a dump. They don't realize that they were in that situation, right? Um, or maybe they did, but they maybe didn't realize what the vastness difference of, I don't know what their experience was, but I reminded myself that kids have been raised in all kinds of different situations. And there's so many ways to live this life, and there's so many ways that you can choose to parent. That's the one thing. They get dropped down to you. So, you know, mine, whether she likes it or not, she got dropped down to me. I'm sure there's some days in her teenage angst that she would rather be dropped off at somebody else's. But guess what? I'm it, and also with with the situation surrounding how you got dropped off here, it's me and you. So, which plays a whole different level of complexity on parenting sometimes. But we got to figure out how to make it. And you know, that's the reality. So it's gonna look different at different times, and then you will readjust sometimes, having a refocus energy, like we were just talking about, you know, right now in the season. I feel like I'm trying to refocus a little bit energy back to her, where maybe I had kind of like let her go prepare for this independence she has coming up in the next few years, trying to let her work that independence muscle. But then I'm like, oh, maybe you don't need that much independence, and I need to parent more. Great. So then you go backwards. So I think it's always like an ebb and flow of where you're at. And that's why I think, and we haven't gotten to this point yet. But if I was to say one thing that I would really encourage listeners to do is find a way to live an aligned life that is aligned for you. Don't worry about little Susie over there in the corner, what she's doing in her perfect parenting world, or even Juliet, who's over there looking like she's country hopping and living her best life on the islands. Like whoever it is, yeah, you just have to remember that how can I live aligned in this season? And I think what's most important in this season, because what's most important in this season is not going to be what's most important in the next season. And I've really had to kind of, as I look back, you can see this more when you're looking back versus when you're going forward into something you've never gone before, is there's been uh so many different seasons. And like you said, it changes so quick. It's so quick. Like you're like one moment the most lovable person on the planet, and then they're not no more. Okay. So, like, there's so many seasons of how it ebbs and flows, and it really is just a journey, and you have to figure out what that journey looks like for you and how you want it to look like for your child. And I've seen people do it a thousand different ways, and whatever way you choose, as long as you're not, you know, causing harm to yourself or other people, then go forth and prosper, you know.
Something that I is coming up for me while you're saying this is this idea of trying to go with the flow. I've met some people in my time that I feel like resist the stage that they're in and they become angsty about the stage that they're in, which then causes misalignment within themselves and also misalignment with how they're relating to life and all these things. Like this is just a very surface level example. It's not meant to diss anyone who does this, but I'm thinking to myself of like people who still have young children who like want to stay up till like 2 a.m. in the morning and just go for it. Great, love that for you. But I think about like the next day, you must be exhausted because your kids woke up at like 6 a.m. Because that's the season of life that you're in. To me, that feels a little resistant to just accepting that like maybe right now my bedtime should be nine, just so I can get enough sleep. Again, people do you do what makes you happy, but that would be in a misalignment with me and myself to stay up until 2 a.m. doing whatever, whether it's watching TV or playing board games or video games or whatever, and then having to wake up at six. Like I would be a miserable human being who would just like hate life if I did that. Yeah. Right. So, like, I think it's just to remember that maybe right now is not the time to stay up until 2 a.m. Like you said, maybe right now your child needs you more than maybe you thought that she did. So now it's like, all right, switching gears again, just kind of rolling with the quote unquote punches rather than trying to like resist.
Yeah. I mean, I think acceptance goes a long way in any area of life, you know? And it doesn't mean that you just accept things in a not great state. Like if your child is struggling or you're struggling with parenting or you are post having some postpartum struggles. I mean, whatever it is, acceptance also means like I accept that this is what's going on. And I may want to make different changes because I don't want to continue in this state. But I think that, yeah, I mean, I've I've learned anytime that I, especially when it comes to raising humans, and I know that's where we've kind of like lingered at today, but like when it comes to raising humans, the more you can accept also who you are and a child for who they are. I think that's a big deal. I think early on in my parenting, one of the struggles I really had was my daughter is very different than me. I'm a seven on the Enneagram. I learned recently she's a four on the Enneagram. Okay. And I was like a super very academic person, made great grades. My daughter has struggled her whole, you know, school career of, you know, her school, school situation. And, you know, I think if I would have tried to force my expectations of how things should be or how she should be, and maybe I should do that still some more right now in the teenage age, but if I would have forced some of that, then I think it would have really been a disservice to me and to her. And so I think you do have to redefine also expectations of how this parenting thing should go, how your life should go. Again, you know, I struggled for a long, long, long, long, long, long time about the fact that I was doing this a solo journey. I didn't like it. I was always waiting for somebody to come around and help me, help me. But you know what? I realized that I did actually have help in different types of ways. It might have not been a live in person with me that helped me in that capacity. But the more you can get to that acceptance piece of this is what it is, how can we, how can we live as most fully in this moment as possible? I think you're gonna have a lot less regrets because I mean, parenting regret is a real deal. And I have regrets. I'm not gonna lie, I think we all will probably, especially us. I think we're both therapists. Okay. So you you realize as you get older about how the childhood really does affect your adulthood, and you're like, whoa, am I like ruining my child right now? Because you're gonna have to go to a lot of trauma therapy because of this experience. But you do the best you can with what you know. And I love one of the people that actually works in the therapy practice with me. She always uses that quote, you know, when you know better, you do better. And I did not know a lot when I started out on this journey. And I still don't know probably a lot, but I've gained a few things. And I think if I've gained anything, it's allow yourself to learn because children will be the best personal development you ever did. That in a business. Yeah. You want a character development one-on-one? Both, okay. And it may be a relationship in there too, okay. So you know.
Well, they're great mirrors. They I think show you who you are during like hard times and like show you who you are when you need to be brave and have courage to to change your to push yourself.
Yeah. But I mean, this is all around to people in your corner too. Like I do think when you have people, people push you, hopefully, you know, to face uncomfortable truths, you know, or even like I said, parenting. Sometimes you have to face some of the things like, oh, wait, is that me trying to push this, or is it like really how I should be acting right now? And you know, there's I would also say just grace for the journey and grace for the journey, because you need it. And you need to give it to yourself, you need to give it to your child, and you give it to people around you, your significant other, wherever you're at, because we all just trying to figure this thing out a day at a time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have this is a kind of a tangent by a client who's like maybe like 19, 20. And he said something to me that I thought was really interesting. I'm like, oh, maybe just new generation, just a little bit different. Because I feel like I didn't learn this until I was like 25, 27, and it coming out of his mouth at like 19. He's like, Yeah, realize like parents are just trying to figure it out every day, too. Like, this is the first time they're on earth as well. It's like, what listen?
I'm telling you what, I mean, I don't know about you, Stephanie, but I can clearly remember growing up and thinking to myself, my parents have it all figured out. Now, we're not gonna deep dive into my parents. I love them both very much, but I can assure you a thousand percent they had not had it figured out. I mean, they actually did pretty good for what they knew, but there was some things that they didn't in hindsight do, you know, the best. Okay. But overall, they well, I'll give them like a you know, 9.5 out of 10. Okay. But the we get the point, the other point five, we give them grace. Okay. And I'm sure if they heard this, they'd be like, What was 0.5? I thought we did a great job. Okay. But they're just there's some challenges along the way, and that's just the reality of how things go. But I knew that I was loved and I knew I was cared for, and I will say that those were the bedrocks, so I'm very grateful for that because not everybody has that. But I will say that as you know, as you go along, you do realize that oh my gosh, I thought when I arrived to a certain age that I would feel confident in a certain way. And and it is a wild ride because, like, again, I'm about to hit that 40 mark, and I'm thinking to myself, Stephanie, I'm like, why do I still feel like I'm barely scratching the surface with what I know? Maybe that's the thing that changes. Like when you're 20, you're like, I know it all. And then by the time you get to 40, you're like, dang it, I feel like I'm still 20 years old in a 40-year-old body and and learning things. For sure.
There's moments that I even am now, I'm like, am I responsible enough to have it on those two-year-old? I don't think that that's true. Like, how did I get here? I am sure that people feel that more as they get older because it's like, wait a second, what just happened? I thought I was 20 something.
Yeah. I mean, I for sure, even when I was 20s and I had that baby, I thought somebody was coming to take this baby away. Like I honestly, and not like take them away from me, but like I thought it was fake. Like I was on a long babysitting journey that just never ended. And that somebody was at some point gonna say, actually, that was my child, please get it back. Because it was like so surreal. Like you're like, how did we get here? And I think that's what we're talking about is no matter whether it's a stage in life, an age in life, a response, like, you know, now you're responsible for human in life. I mean, whatever that looks like, responsible for dog in life, I mean, whatever responsibilities you got, sometimes you look around and you're like, who let me be responsible for this situation? I need to know. Because then you realize, wait. And then if I can really force myself to remember that we're all just figuring this out a day at a time, it does help me meet people a lot differently than what we typically go into in our heads is like that person's got it figured out and I'm the one that's over here struggling. But I think that we can just get more to that awareness of your experience is probably very similar, although different from that other person's experience. And if you are still struggling to figure this out, it's a high chance they are too. You know, they just may do a better job at masking the fact that they seem to have it all together.
For sure. For sure. Well, I want to say I appreciate a timing's conversation. Um looking at the time and thinking, oh man, we need to wrap up, which is sad because I feel like we could talk forever. But I would love for you to share where people can find you if they want to connect with you further and yeah, maybe a little bit about what you have going on and what people, yeah, can learn being in your circle.
Well, you know, guys, I'm still figuring it out. So if you want to come, just walk the journey and try to figure it out for me. You can go over to ChristyPenison.com. Um, there is a podcast that we talk about how to create possibilities in your life because I've figured that out a little bit, still trying to figure that out more. But if you would like to come, there's even a workbook. If you like workbooks and you like to reflect on like where am I at right now in life and where do I want to get and how do I want to redefine what life looks like for me in this season, there is a free resource on that website that you can download, dream it, write it, do it. It's just kind of a workbook to help you figure out how to go set for this season that you're in. And so definitely check it out or DM me or whatever. Look, I'm just a person figuring it out along the way. And I loved having this conversation with you because we didn't know where it was going to go when we started. But hopefully, if you're listening, this provides you some permission that if you're here, then you know, you're doing okay. You're doing okay. You know, we all figuring it out.
Yes, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Well, thank you again. Absolutely. And thank you all for listening. Thank you for tuning in to Redefining Us once again and share with other people so other people can continue to listen to Redefining Us and we can get into more listener's ears. If you follow us or subscribe, or leave a comment, or review, that would be greatly helpful for other people to find us, and also just for me to get some feedback. What do you guys want to hear me say? What do you women care about to hear? I'm totally open to bringing on guests and talking about topics that are unique and inspiring to everyone. So please let me know. And this year, hopefully we've full of a lot of community building, a lot of public speaking, a lot of resource sharing. So I really encourage you to follow us on social media at Wellminded Counseling on Instagram as our handle, as well as going directly to our website, lawminded counseling.combackslash redefining us, so you can be in the know with all the things that are happening in the Redefining Us community. Once again, thank you so much for listening and keep being awesome.