Episode 30: Helping Your Baby Feel Good in Their Body with Dr. Brita DeStefano
What if the key to calmer nights, smoother feedings, and fewer worries isn’t another gadget, but helping your baby feel good in their body?
Stephanie Konter-O’Hara sits down with Dr. Brita DeStefano, infant physical therapist and founder of Progress Through Play, to explore how movement, comfort, and early development are deeply connected.
Brita shares why many early challenges, from reflux and tightness to asymmetry and those “lazy baby” myths, can often be traced back to how a baby’s body feels. She explains how physical therapy supports everything from feeding and digestion to sleep and milestone development, and why the goal isn’t perfection but balance.
Together, they unpack what it means to tune in to your baby’s cues, recognize when something doesn’t feel right, and strengthen connection through mindful touch and movement.
Whether you’re navigating reflux, sleepless nights, or simply wanting to understand your baby better, this conversation offers both reassurance and practical guidance for creating a foundation of comfort, confidence, and calm at home.
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Welcome to Redefine Us, where we explore sexuality, identity, motherhood, and mental health to help women thrive authentically. Let's break free from roles that limit us and create a life where you can truly be yourself. Welcome back to Redefining Us. Today's guest, Dr. Britta DiStavano, is a pediatric physical therapist and the owner of a Denver-based business called Progress Through Play. She spent several years of her education and early training working in a variety of different settings before she settled on opening her own business after she had noticed a gap in care that's provided to babies and toddlers and the stress and anxiety that it was causing parents. So her work is going to be talked about in today's session, and we do a deep dive into what it's like to be an anxious mom with a baby who's experiencing things like tortois or tongue ties or reflux, and really helps babies from infancy until walking. And I hope that you learn a lot as I did during this episode today. Welcome back to Redefining Us. I'm your host, Stephanie Contorera. And today I have with me Britta De Stefano. I would love for you to share with everyone a little bit more about who you are. I know you're a pediatric physical therapist. It specializes in birth to walking, but yeah, I'd love for you to share more for our listeners.
Thanks for having me. Yeah, my name is Dr. Britta, and I am an infant physical therapist. I have a practice called Rest Through Play that is in Denver, Colorado. And we specialize in your babies movement and are really passionate about supporting families in that first year of their baby's life. And so we offer a lot of things, including one-on-one physical therapy, but we all do milestone classes, support groups for babies, going through things like oral ties, and we do a lot of community events and we post a lot of helpful tips and tricks on our website and social media. So trying to get as much of this information out there as possible.
Yeah, I feel like a lot of moms in early motherhood are like inundated with information. So trying to weed out what is helpful and what is not helpful can be really tricky. So going straight to someone who's a an expert in this field is really important, I think, because I think there's a lot of noise from other people that are on the internet. Um, so definitely recommend following someone like yourself who is really knowledgeable about this time in your baby's life, because there's a lot of things that I think need more support than they are currently getting. And so yeah, I guess my first question really is for you to help moms figure out, like in those early phases, you know, you mentioned as young as two months prior to this conversation, if you could share like what people should be looking out for in their infants.
Yeah. So the time period after birth and in those first eight weeks is a lot of adjustment. And so there's a lot of things that might fall through the cracks or that your pediatrician might not pick up on because they're really focused on, you know, just weight gain and, you know, their their general health. And as a physical therapist, we are looking a little bit deeper than that. And our practice is very holistic. So we really believe in looking from head to toe and optimizing the way that an infant is able to use their body because there's so many things that they need to be able to do in that first year, and so many things that they need to be able to learn. And we really want them to have a solid foundation to work off of. So the youngest patients that we've seen have been three days old, and we work with them all the way up until they start walking. And you can imagine how many things their little bodies need to be able to do from three days all the way up until those first steps. And we really believe that a baby who feels good, who feels comfortable in their body is going to achieve all of those things easier. And the big things are obviously their milestones, doing their tummy time, rolling over, sitting, crawling, and walking. But babies need to do other things besides that as well. And so a lot of what we do is also helping babies optimize the way that their body is able to function so that they can breast or bottle feed better, so that they can digest better. So we see a lot of babies who are uncomfortable from gassiness, reflux, colic, constipation, you name it. If you've had a baby with any of those issues, you understand how that trickles down so much into just the way the whole family functions. Personally, my oldest, who's now 11, was that baby who was just really difficult to feed. He had really bad reflux, he had a really bad ten tie, he was so fussy, just a really high needs baby. And that impacts a lot of things about the whole family dynamic, but also about that baby's quality of life. And it's going to also trickle down into their overall movement. They're not going to be comfortable being put down on the floor. They're not going to want to do their tummy time. So oftentimes that does end up snowballing into some bigger issues. And we really, really believe in helping babies feel better because we think that breathing will be better, sleeping will be better, eating will be better, pooping will be better. And then also their milestones. So that's really the foundation of what we're looking for in those first couple of months of life, is just that baby feeling good in their body.
And I think just hearing you say that, I guess I didn't even realize that like PT could help with something like a digestive issue that is like written off as like a formula problem or like a mom's diet problem or something else.
Yeah, there's multiple layers to a lot of the digestive complaints that we're helping families with because there can be many different root causes to those things that you mentioned. And we do work closely with lactation consultants and we have an integrative pediatric health provider who looks deeper at gut health and working with their pediatricians. But at the end of the day, there's oftentimes a component of just the way the baby's baby is functioning that can help them either ease discomfort from whatever that other root cause issue is, like say it is dairy and mom's diet or whatever it may be. That baby is still at the end of the day very gassy, very uncomfortable. And there are ways that we can help improve the way they're feeling while either us or this other provider is helping to work on the root cause of that. And so we always just say that no matter what the root cause is, there's always things we can be doing to help them feel better.
Yeah. And like you mentioned, like when the baby feels good, usually other people have the space to feel good. Cause if the baby's not feeling good, no one has space to feel good.
No, it's it's truly a full family dynamic thing when you have a baby who doesn't feel good. And I have, I have been there in the middle of the night at 2 a.m. where you're like, is my baby just gassy or like, do we need to go to the emergency room? I don't know. Like you're just so stressed and you can't think straight. And, you know, it just starts to really impact your ability to to function and make decisions and enjoy your baby. At the end of the day, that's one of the biggest things that I feel like people are robbed of when they are brushed off about some of these issues. A lot of them are kind of swept under the rug, and people are told, well, that's just babies being babies. Babies have reflux, babies spit up, babies, you know, have gas, whatever. But to understand that eventually that crosses a line where it's not normal anymore. It's not ethical and it's really impacting the baby, but the parents and their mental health and their sleep deprivation or whatever it may be. And I really want for these families to be able to enjoy that newborn period and feel like they're empowered with ways that they can be helping to improve whatever it is that their baby's struggling with, instead of just sitting around and saying, well, it's just being babies, there's nothing we can do about it. And I just think that's BS.
Yeah. And I think this is something that I found for myself when I was very early on, new mom. I still feel like I would call myself new mom. My baby's almost two, but I still feel very new to this game. Um yeah, I have a friend and a little bit of background going to my own like physical therapy. And I noticed that my baby had like some asymmetry, like in her strength, as far as like she only wanted to like really push up with her one arm during tummy time, like didn't really want to go to the other side. And like me as an anxious mom, I was like, oh my gosh, is everything okay? And with the pediatrician, they're like, Oh yeah, she's fine. And so I just kind of like accepted that, but it probably would have been helpful to like, you know, really get an assessment on like what was going on because unless you think that's normal. I don't know. I'm curious, are there people who come to you and you find yourself saying, like, your baby's just gonna grow out of that and it's nothing to to worry about? Or yeah, I guess that's my question.
Yeah. I mean, I think that their little bodies go through a lot just during pregnancy and delivery, whatever the method is, that what we see a lot of the time is that based on their wound positioning, especially a longer or larger baby or a smaller mom or the birthing process, whatever it may be, affects their bodies. They have a body just like we do. And the way that, you know, if you have tightness in your shoulder or whatever, it makes you want to stretch it out and make it so that you can do things more symmetrically. The same for infants, but they can't do that for themselves. And so we do like to be proactive in noticing when their body is not symmetrical in its movement, because that's communication from them that something doesn't feel the same on this side that it does on the other side. And the biggest thing about infants is that when they are moving their bodies, they will always choose the path of least resistance because they don't understand, you know, oh, that resistance that I feel, that stretch, that's so good for me, right? Like the way that there's that little bit of discomfort associated with stretching, and you're like, oh, that hurts so good. I'm gonna like push through it. Infants don't have that. And so they inherently move away from resistance and don't technically have that drive to stretch themselves. And the asymmetries can be mild, in which case not see them trickle down into other things, or those asymmetries turn into bigger things like flattening on one side of their head if they only look to one side or only rolling in one direction or crawling, you know, that asymmetrical crawl that they do where they kind of hitch one of their legs up, are things that it can turn into if we don't address it. But obviously, there's a spectrum of, you know, my baby's really, really tight, or you know, this is something more mild that, like you said, may not turn into something bigger, but we prefer to just be proactive. Yeah.
Well, and even going back to what you said about the idea of like feeling good, like she probably, you know, didn't feel great, right? Like having maybe only like the tightness on the one side. So if that's the goal is to like have your baby feel good, even being stretched out, even if it's like a mild issue, would still be beneficial for the baby's overall well-being.
Yeah. And that's one of the big things that we try to address with a lot of the more general things that we either like post on our website or social media or in our group classes, is just helping parents understand how they can move their baby's body, you know, the positions they can put them in, the way you can integrate that into just your daily play and interactions with them. Because a lot of people are a little bit nervous. They see us move their baby and they're like, I had no idea I could do that with them. Is that okay? And so a lot of that is, you know, there's nothing wrong with your baby or you're not having any issues. But if you're interested, like here's all the things that they can do, and here's all the ways that you can help them move and interact with them. And it feels good to move your body. And it feels good for them too, because a lot of times they're in a circle and they're in a car seat and they're in a bouncer. And so movement is is medicine, it's it's motion is lotion, whatever they say that it can be fun, even if there's not a problem that you're trying to address.
Yeah, I like that. And just like kind of teaching healthy habits from like an early age. And again, I know babies can't necessarily like learn in the same way that maybe like a child or an adult can, but if your body's like kind of constantly like scrunched up or maybe like not in a position that's ergonomically helpful, having a mom or a dad like no exercises to do with their baby to help stretch them out sounds to me at least something positive for like the lifespan of their child.
Yeah. I mean, we tell parents it's like doing little yoga for your baby's body because that feels good. And their little bodies cravement the same way that ours do. And a lot of what we're teaching is, you know, learning about the way your specific baby's body moves because we're all wired differently and the types of movement that your baby likes and how that relates back to being able to regulate their nervous system or improve their digestion. You know, there's so many benefits to different types of movement, like rhythmic movement is more calming for a baby who has a really heightened nervous system. And then a lot of movement in through their trunk and their stomach is really good for a baby who's maybe not pooping as regularly as we want them to. And so there's there's very specific things that we can help parents hone in on based on, you know, kind of these specific needs.
Yeah, it almost feels like uh another way to help soothe your baby as like a parent rather than just like the, you know, the rocking and like the padding on the back and all the other things that are maybe more universally understood as like soothing methods. Like this is another way to like learn how to soothe your baby.
Definitely. And I think a way to build even deeper connections with your baby because you're really attuned to what feels good, what doesn't feel good, what movements they like, when they like you to do them. And I think that that builds a deeper bond between the parents and the baby because a lot of what we do, we're assessing infants as physical therapists, it's a lot of hands-on work. And I always say I'm I'm listening to their body. Obviously, they can't communicate in words, but there's a lot of ways that their bodies talk to me. And being able to help teach some of that to the parent, I think is really empowering too. They they learn, you know, how to communicate with their baby better or how their baby is communicating with them and what each of those things mean. And so I really like that aspect of what we do too. I think the parents learn a lot through our sessions and we get to have a whole hour with them. So we get to just be teaching the whole time, which is really fun.
Yeah. I guess what do you see as like the most common reason why someone comes in? Is it usually digestive issues, or are there other things that really, I don't know, people feel most compelled to come and work with you?
Yeah, I think the biggest things that we see are that one-sided tightness. You might hear the term tortocolis, which is really just talking about tightness in a baby's neck, but that usually means they're only looking to one side or that asymmetry that you mentioned before. Uh, that's a really big one that we get. And then the other big one is usually related to some sort of breast or bottle feeding struggles, which typically trickles down into some of that digestive complaints. So the reflux or the gassiness, uh, a lot of which relates back to tongue tie, lip tie, you know, oral ties as part of that puzzle. But one of our biggest referral sources is lactation consultants who are working really closely with these families to really optimize their feeding journey. And when they have pulled out all their tricks and done everything they can to help improve latch and milk supply and everything on their end, and things just still aren't quite clicking. We really look at infant feeding as a full-body experience for the infant. And so many things need to work in harmony to make it be the best that it can be. And so we really see a lot of that in that newborn phase as well, is being able to help optimize that feeding journey, which relates back to their digestion as well.
I mean, that makes a lot of sense to me. And like even thinking as an adult, like eating is kind of a full body experience, right? You need to use your your hands as an adult, you need to use your your jaw and your tongue and you know, all the muscles that help digest food and organs. Like, yeah. So it makes sense that an infant would also need like their whole body to be in like harmony and an alignment in order to breastfeed or even alleviate digestive issues.
Yeah. And the thing that really helps infants is that they are born with all of these newborn reflexes, right? Those are those subconscious, automatic movements that are supposed to drive that function in the beginning and make it automatic so that then they can build the skill. And as the reflexes go away, the baby knows consciously how to do it. But there are things that can impact the way that those reflexes are firing. And so if they're not doing what they're supposed to do, it can be really tricky because a baby hasn't built up that skill yet. And so that's one of the things that we're always assessing for is that, you know, evolutionarily we have these reflexes that are supposed to just get us started on the right foot so that we can learn all the things we need to learn as an infant. And oftentimes, whether it's baby was premature or they had a traumatic birth, or just for no reason that we can discern those reflexes aren't doing what they're supposed to do. And that's another big thing that we look at in terms of that harmony of the body all working the way it's supposed to, is making sure that there's nothing impacting that.
I imagine people also come to you a little bit later on, not just like in the first eight weeks, but also like when developmental issues may occur with like sitting or rolling or crawling and walking, et cetera. What is the general thing that you find to be most like helpful for parents in those situations?
Yeah. So we get obviously then the next phase, right? Is that there's a lot of movement and mobility that your baby needs to achieve in that first year. And it happens, it needs to happen pretty rapidly in the scheme of things. That first year we're learning a lot, and then it kind of slows down a little bit after that. And so we again like to be more proactive so that you know we're not slowing that child down from being able to engage with the environment, engage with their peers, achieve other milestones that happen afterwards. And so we do look pretty closely at baby being able to roll in all directions, be able to sit up independently. That's going to impact whether they can start solids and then crawling so that they can really access their environments, learn from it, and then, you know, obviously pulling up to stand and walking. So we do get families that are coming in, you know, to put their baby not necessarily a milestone, and we expect them to. And this is just another cool way that we get to help parents learn about their baby's bodies, is we get to figure out why. Why is this baby not doing what we expect them to be doing? And there's always a reason. Babies aren't lazy. They're they're not just like, oh, I don't want to. Babies want to move and explore their environment. So if they're not doing it, it's not because they're lazy. There is a reason. And I get to play detective and help figure that out for families, which is really cool. And then help them figure out what's the next step. How do we get them to this place that we'd like them to be so that they can stay on track and everything can move forward from there? And it's a lot of play. It's fun things that you can do with your baby to engage them in those milestones. And the the hack or the trick is that each milestone builds on the one previous to it. So the more we work on the milestone before, the more we work on rolling, the better your baby will be at sitting and you know, so forth. And so really getting them a lot of that movement practice, their current milestones is really going to feed forward into what we want them to do next. So that's just a trick for you out there.
Yeah, I think it's really interesting, and then I imagine it was intentional the wording that you chose, only because I've heard people say, like, oh, my baby just is is lazy, or my baby doesn't have any motivation to move. Like, you know, they're fine. Cause I've heard that. And I always thought to myself, because my daughter was delayed in the doctor's terminology. Yeah. To to crawling and standing and all of that. And they're like, well, maybe she's just like not motivated. That was the first what they had said. And I was like, I don't know. Like, I feel like other babies are crawling and she just is kind of like, yeah, I'm just gonna hang out here. I don't think that's because of she's stubborn, like she's a baby. I don't it hasn't context to be stubborn. I don't know. So even that I was like questioning like, is this, I don't know, myth, or is this just like passive information that's gets like passed down? It's like I don't think that's accurate. And I found myself feeling like, am I making a bigger deal out of this than I need to because like I'm anxious, or is this a big deal?
Well, I do think there is a big component to a baby's personality being a part of their development journey. So I don't want to write off the differences between, you know, say a child who is really willing to take risks. We've all seen the kid that will just throw themselves off the playground and just, you know, I have one really cautious kid and one who's not so cautious. And that is deeply rooted in their personality. It's not something that I influenced. That is just the way that they came out and the way that they've always been. That is going to impact potentially the trajectory of a baby meeting their milestones because, in order for a child to achieve a new skill, it requires a lot of trial and error. They have to figure out how not to do it before they figure out how to do it. They do not just stand up and walk the very first time they try. So everybody's comfort level with the error part of that process is different. And as someone who's not super comfortable with it yourself, you know, it it will impact because there's that wide range of normal, right? Of when each baby achieves each milestone. Not every baby rolls exactly at three or four months, some roll at five or six months. And so personality, yes, will play a part. If you have a very cautious kiddo, they might walk a little bit later because they're just wanting to make sure they feel really safe, that they feel really stable, really secure in their skill before they just take off. And that's all within that scope of normal, but that's that's cautiousness, that's you know, risk taking, that's not laziness. Then there's a baby who truly just doesn't have the ability to interact in that trial and error process because something's holding them back. And again, it's not necessarily lady laziness, maybe it's that their body is feeling a little tight, or they have some weak muscles or some reflexes that didn't integrate properly, or their tummy hurts. Sometimes it's just like my baby's really constipated and gassy, so it just doesn't really feel good for them to move very much. And they kind of would rather just kind of stay static because movement with a really distended tummy just doesn't feel good. So, again, whatever that reasoning is, we always want to help dive into that so that the baby can go through that trial and error process at whatever speed they feel comfortable with. Again, we don't want to force them to do something that doesn't feel safe in their body, but it is really interesting to see when the little personalities kick in and influence the rate at which the kiddos are willing to take that next step.
Yeah, I I imagine my daughter is very cautious, uh little kid, like her daycare teacher was joking that she didn't smile at them for like two months because she was like assessing their personality. Someone's like, okay. Yeah. So yes, I do think that's probably like an eight thing in her, like I'm sure it is for other children, and other children are like running when you know the first chance they get. So I definitely think there's personality that plays into it for sure.
Yeah. But we always want to make sure that that's what's going on and not something else. So um we can do that assessment of their body and make sure there's nothing there that's impacting things, and then just say, like, okay, this is a really cautious kid. We understand personality and their willingness to do that trial and error and take risks. So here's how we're gonna create a really supportive environment for this baby to feel more comfortable trying these things that seem a little scary to them so that we can set them up for success and they can, you know, start to learn some of those new skills. It just is helpful to have that knowledge so that you know how to set them up for success.
Yeah. No, I I like the way that you said that because I think even just simple things that maybe a person who's not educated in this um as well as you are, as well as I'm sure the other people on your team are, like may not know how to like encourage their baby to do something that feels safe to them rather than like, okay, well, I'm expecting you just to pull yourself up now. Like, why aren't you doing it? Like, kind of teaching them those like incremental maybe movements in order to feel safe and secure in doing the next step.
Yeah. We talk about like little mini milestones like that. And then also there are so many things that can be done incrementally. Like maybe all we're doing is changing the height of the surface that they're pulling up to stand at, and it shifts their weight in a different way, makes them feel more sturdy. Or if we're trying to get them to use a pushwalker, if it's too fast, that baby's not going to feel safe pushing that pushwalker. What can we do to adjust this activity to make that baby feel more stable? You know, there's lots of those little adjustments that we can make to just create that environment that's more conducive to that specific child achieving that milestone.
Yeah. Well, I was hoping you could share with everyone like where they can find you and connect with you if they want to um seek your services out. Absolutely.
We are on social media. So our main platform is Instagram, because I'm an elder millennial and that's about all I can put my effort into. But we're at Progress Through Play on Instagram. And then our website again has a lot of our online resources. So we've created some courses and a lot of blog posts and free guides to fill in the gaps, maybe if families are wondering about their babies movement. And so our website is ptpdunver.com. And those are the two main places you can find us.
Yeah. Well, I really appreciate you coming on. I think it's helpful to know that there's maybe other resources and even ways to be proactive. Cause I think at least a lot of moms that I know like waited until their pediatrician was like, you need to address this. And it'll be it's a good to know that there's other resources out there that you don't have to wait until your pediatrician is saying, like, no, this is like absolutely necessary to address. So I really appreciate that what you're doing. Thank you. Well, thank you again, and yeah, bye. Thank you for tuning in. Into redefining us once again and share with other people so other people can continue to listen to redefining us, and we can get into more listeners' ears if you follow us or subscribe or leave a comment or review. That would be greatly helpful for other people to find us and also just for me to get some feedback. What do you guys wanna hear me say? What do you women care about hearing? I'm totally open to bringing on guests and talking about topics that are unique and inspiring to everyone, so please let me know. And this year hopefully be full of a lot of community building, a lot of public speaking, a lot of resource sharing. So I really encourage you to follow us on social media at Wellminded Counseling on Instagram as our handle, as well as going directly to our website, wellmindcounseling.com backslash redefining us, so you can be in the know with all the things that are happening in the Redefining Us community. Once again, thank you so much for listening and keeping awesome.